A bully can see the world from only one perspective, from its own. Therefore the bully has no doubt about what he or she sees. If the bully is talented to formulate his or her view, the bully becomes convincing for people who like to follow a leader.
Bullies need people who follow them.
People who have the talent to doubt will not follow a bully. The bully knows this and uses the people of doubt as targets. This makes him appear stronger in the eyes of his or her followers.
People who doubt have the talent to see things from more than one perspective. People who see more than one perspective doubt the bully and often doubt themselves. This makes them look weak and indecisive in the eyes of those who follow, compared to the force of the simple truth of a bully.
Recently I had an encounter with an intelligent bully. It went on for quite a while, but in the end I – we – succeeded.
What I learned – five rules to overcoming a bully
- Trust other people.
- Say what you see.
- Don’t be afraid that what you say doesn’t make sense to other people. Don´t simplifying just to tell a convincing story.
- Do not be afraid to say things that are not correct, but be aware that you might perceive things that are not correct.
- Listen to others. Most likely you can’t see all the relevant aspects yourself. Spend energy on understanding what others mean, even the tyrants themselves.
The key is communication. And remember, communication is not just speaking, the biggest part is listening.